Fools Rush in [ePub]

by Anthea Turner

The celebrity memoir is a dangerous beast, and Fools Rush In by television personality Anthea Turner certainly knows how to bare its teeth. Cleverly ghost-written by romance writer Wendy Holden, the pace here is fast and breathless, and pages turn fast; this is certainly a recommended holiday read for fans of Hello! and OK!. Tracing her origins from the English Pottery district, through her rise to Auntie's prime-time sugar babe and on to the sticky mess of her marriage break up, Turner is remarkably frank throughout. She exposes the frailties of those around her—ex-fiance Bruno Brookes' dangerous temper and Eamonn Holmes' "ultimate betrayal". Even ex-husband Peter Powell's tendency to be "emotionally distant—we didn't share a marital bed"— is laid bare (remarkable considering Peter Powell is still Turner's manager and therefore sanctioned the book)—this story is filled with titbits of gossip that can be described as both meaty and tacky in equal measures.

Turner's truthfulness—at least, the truth as seen through her own, Peter-Pan eyes—seems unquestionable, and while this latest contender for the Turner Prize for Publicity leaves ex-lovers shivering naked in the spotlight, Anthea perhaps tells us more about herself than she intends by dropping in priceless quotes. "I was at the very peak of my career, rivalled only, according to one paper, as the blonde most little girls wanted to be" she lisps blithely, before informing us "I'm a big Michael Flatley fan". More telling are her recurrent references to money, from "Pete and I divorced for #127.50" to "It has cost Grant and I over 1 million pounds to be together"; but most dangerous of all are her over-earnest justifications as she faced trial by her public. Surely it is the relationship with her young stepdaughters, who she clumsily mentions and should have left well alone, which needs work. Anthea Turner hoped to set the record straight with this autobiography. Instead with Fools Rush In—hugely entertaining for all the wrong reasons—she may have made things worse. There was once a time when it looked like chocolate wouldn't melt in the mouth of TV's golden girl, now it seems a certain Cadburys' snowflake bar—as shown ill-advisedly in a wedding publicity snap—has melted her perfect image. —Eilidh McLean

17.02.2014

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